So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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