i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
