I murdered the dance floor call the cops
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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