woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We named our party play list daddy issues
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
