did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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