shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
