also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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