And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
