It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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