Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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