After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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