You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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