I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
