Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
