He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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