I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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