And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
