ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You ruined the universe
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
