The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
time to smoke my breakfast
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
