I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
