why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize