So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
whose parrot is this?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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