people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
