Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
