Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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