I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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