you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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