I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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