once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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