I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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