OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
