So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
