He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
