Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize