do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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