I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
