You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
