Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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