it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
