i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
