Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
