I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
