dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
