If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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