if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
