Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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