I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
