Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just forgot I was standing up.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
