i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
