Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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