i just google imaged poop.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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