White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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