Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
