he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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