Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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