i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
