He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
