So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She is in my trunk
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
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He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
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I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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