i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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