I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You don't make any sense
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