We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
