What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize