ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
