I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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